I was reading in the Montreal newspaper the other day how enrollment at convents has been increasing in the past few years. There has been particular increase in the number of women in their early 20s wanting to become nuns. The article stated that it was because "women of this age are looking for something more".
The article really painted a good picture of convent life. The women live in a tight-knit community with mentorship and encouragement. Each day they rise early to spend time with God, and spend the rest of the day doing chores, playing sports, studying or helping younger women with their struggles.
I've also heard other opinions. Click here for the full article.
"A friend of mine has a brother who is a member of a cult. I did some research for her. In the process, I learned about mind control. As I studied mind control, I was shocked to realize that I had been subjected to it when I was in the convent. (But my superiors probably didn't see it as mind control. They were just following tradition.)
My personal identity was taken away. My name was changed. It was a constant reminder that my identity and my life were no longer my own. In theory, it was supposed to mean that I belonged to Jesus. In reality, it meant that I belonged to the Catholic Church.
I wore a habit (like everybody else). I was called "Sister" (like everybody else). I was not allowed to express my own opinions. I was told what to do and what to think. My time was not my own. We lived by a schedule determined by other people. Personal discretionary time was rare.
We were largely cut off from our families and friends. Unless there was an emergency, we could only phone our family (very briefly) on special occasions such as Christmas. Our outgoing mail was read by our superiors, and so was our incoming mail. When we wrote letters, we never knew whether or not people would actually receive them. We never knew if mail had been sent to us but not given to us.
Talking was restricted. We were not allowed to have personal friendships. We weren't even allowed to have affection for animals
The Bible tells us to put on the mind of Christ. (Philippians 2:5) However, my studies were intended to make me put on the mind of the Catholic Church and to put on the mind of the founder of our religious order. To some extent I even put on the mind of our mother superior.
We were not supposed to question orders which were given to us by our superiors. One time my work assignment involved something that was physically dangerous, but it could have been made much safer. I had been so trained not to question orders that I never said a word about it. But I prayed for God to protect me. He did. I got sick and a senior sister had to do my job. She saw the danger and immediately took steps to make things safer. God was faithful. But I should not have been put in that position.
We were told that we should be emotionally detached, that we should only express love in a detached way. We were taught that human attachments interfere with closeness to God..." -Mary Ann Collins, a former Catholic nun (2002)
Some people have the impression that when you become a Christian this is what your life will inevitably look like. Brainwashing is a favourite idea of my mom's. She thinks that's what my faith, and more specifically, Campus for Christ, does. Fortunately for me, and for the rest of my Christian community, we have volunteered to be a part of this faith. We're not going to let the church oppress our thoughts, questions and concerns. We're not going to change our names, or conform to one mold. We'll show our devotion to God because we want to, not because we don't want to be punished, or because we want to make ourselves look good.
We believe what we do based on personal conviction. Christians agree on the essentials: that God loves us and has a plan for our lives, that we are separated from Him because of our moral failure, but God sent his son, Jesus, as a sacrifice, and through accepting Him we are reconciled to God. These things, and most of my strong opinions on faith, stem from the Bible. It's a pretty clear-cut instruction manual for life.
I believe what I do wholeheartedly. I love God and I hold what values I do because I believe this "religion" to be the most scientific, logical and real.
There's no need to worry that I'm going to become a nun...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Update on the room situation
Well, my roommate and I had a good talk about the room situation. *Sigh* It's still pretty stressful, but we've decided to reorganize our room for the time being. A complete room organization makeover: Operation Space Control, set to commence this weekend.
From now, we have at least 3 months of sharing the space. Then, if we still feel the room is cramped with two people living in it (our decision date is set as the 4th of March), I will organize something new for next year.
I've come to terms with the fact that even though I love living here, Tara needs to have a space that is her own. I'm not looking forward to packing up and transferring my things again... but a new roommate could be fun. I like the adventurous aspect of looking for an apartment, working things out with a new roommate(s) and getting things organized in a new place.
I think I'm going to advertise at Impact church, and my own church, Evangel, as well as at school. I'll definitely be asking around for people who need a new roommate for next year.
From now, we have at least 3 months of sharing the space. Then, if we still feel the room is cramped with two people living in it (our decision date is set as the 4th of March), I will organize something new for next year.
I've come to terms with the fact that even though I love living here, Tara needs to have a space that is her own. I'm not looking forward to packing up and transferring my things again... but a new roommate could be fun. I like the adventurous aspect of looking for an apartment, working things out with a new roommate(s) and getting things organized in a new place.
I think I'm going to advertise at Impact church, and my own church, Evangel, as well as at school. I'll definitely be asking around for people who need a new roommate for next year.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Moving again?
*Sigh*
This afternoon, my landlord/apartment-mate mentionned that she'd like to know what myself and my roommate are doing next year. We're obviously staying here in Montreal, but she said she didn't want to assume we had both decided to stay here in the apartment, just in case we were planning to move. This didn't strike me as strange, but then my roommate mentionned that she felt a little cramped.
We share a small room in the apartment, and since there isn't room for two beds, we have a bunk bed. We share the closet, the dresser, the desk, the bookshelf, and all the space in between. I thought it was a pretty good deal... it was tough at first (because being an only child I've never shared a room, or my space), but I feel good about it after 4 months. I've really enjoyed living in this place.
I didn't realize she felt this way. I told her that I needed some time to think. And I really have a lot to think about. I'm left wondering if my roommate really does prefer to have more of her own space, or if it's something I've done that makes her not want to share a room with me anymore. I take up a lot of space: at least half of the closet. We have different sleep schedules: I go to bed early most nights (11-12ish) and get up around 7 (even on weekends). My roommate usually goes to bed late-ish (around 1 or 2am, later on weekends) and gets up around 8 or 9. I'm a little cluttered. I leave piles of paper on the dresser in our room, and it usually stays there for a couple weeks.
*Sigh* This is stressing me out... and when I'm stressed, I eat. I gobbled down a brownie, a bowl of cereal, bread and jam and a whole bag of chocolate covered raisins.
I'm thinking that if anyone's going to move, it should be me. My landlord and my roommate are both staff with C4C and had lived together for a year before I got here.
Here we go... I can't wait to see what happens with this one.
This afternoon, my landlord/apartment-mate mentionned that she'd like to know what myself and my roommate are doing next year. We're obviously staying here in Montreal, but she said she didn't want to assume we had both decided to stay here in the apartment, just in case we were planning to move. This didn't strike me as strange, but then my roommate mentionned that she felt a little cramped.
We share a small room in the apartment, and since there isn't room for two beds, we have a bunk bed. We share the closet, the dresser, the desk, the bookshelf, and all the space in between. I thought it was a pretty good deal... it was tough at first (because being an only child I've never shared a room, or my space), but I feel good about it after 4 months. I've really enjoyed living in this place.
I didn't realize she felt this way. I told her that I needed some time to think. And I really have a lot to think about. I'm left wondering if my roommate really does prefer to have more of her own space, or if it's something I've done that makes her not want to share a room with me anymore. I take up a lot of space: at least half of the closet. We have different sleep schedules: I go to bed early most nights (11-12ish) and get up around 7 (even on weekends). My roommate usually goes to bed late-ish (around 1 or 2am, later on weekends) and gets up around 8 or 9. I'm a little cluttered. I leave piles of paper on the dresser in our room, and it usually stays there for a couple weeks.
*Sigh* This is stressing me out... and when I'm stressed, I eat. I gobbled down a brownie, a bowl of cereal, bread and jam and a whole bag of chocolate covered raisins.
I'm thinking that if anyone's going to move, it should be me. My landlord and my roommate are both staff with C4C and had lived together for a year before I got here.
Here we go... I can't wait to see what happens with this one.
Redemption and Pride
I realized I haven't written in a week. And, I haven't blogged about anything interesting in at least 10 days.
So, here's something that might be interesting. It is to me anyway! This struck me this morning as I was reading the bible.
Check this out:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, by faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Hmmm... I love the book of Ephesians. It's so clear about who we are as God's people, and what we should do, what is pleasing to God.
This passage sticks out to me because it reminds me that our actions do not redeem us. Nothing that we've done makes us good, or worthy, in God's eyes. He has no reason to give us all that he has. We can't be generous enough; we can't pray enough; we can't go to church enough; we can't be kind enough; we can't sell all that we have and give all the money to charity enough to make God love us. He has made the choice to love us. He has redeemed us based on the fact alone that we believe that Jesus died for all the crap that we've done. There is no way we can be good enough on our own to weasel our way into God's good books. Wow. It's humbling to think about that.
We've done nothing to deserve God's love. We have done nothing to deserve what God has done for us. He has offered us a free gift of life after death, in Heaven. And not only that, but until we are ready to go there, he offers a satisfying life here on earth.
What would the world be like if people could work for their salvation? How would humans act differently if we could be "good enough" to go to Heaven? Would people live lives pleasing to God, or would we still be in the same messes we are living in now?
I know for me personally, if my salvation required that I be "good" I would ultimately feel frustrated and defeated. I would be incredibly competitive. I would do "good" things and would be constantly comparing myself to others. "Am I better than that guy over there? Maybe I'll get to Heaven and he won't, if I'm just a little bit better than he is." I would try, day after day, to do good things, but I'm sure my heart wouldn't be in the right place. I would always be left wondering if I'm doing enough, and would never be sure of my future. I think I'd be overly anxious and paranoid.
Even in this life, with the way things really are, I try to be "good". I forget that God's already done all the work. And this does leave me dissatisfied, because I try to be perfect and it's impossible, but still I try.
I think if I kept in mind that God's death on the cross is the all-encompassing payment for my sin, I wouldn't have those times. *Sigh* God is so good for what he's done. What makes me so prideful to think that I can prove myself good enough on my own?
So, here's something that might be interesting. It is to me anyway! This struck me this morning as I was reading the bible.
Check this out:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, by faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Hmmm... I love the book of Ephesians. It's so clear about who we are as God's people, and what we should do, what is pleasing to God.
This passage sticks out to me because it reminds me that our actions do not redeem us. Nothing that we've done makes us good, or worthy, in God's eyes. He has no reason to give us all that he has. We can't be generous enough; we can't pray enough; we can't go to church enough; we can't be kind enough; we can't sell all that we have and give all the money to charity enough to make God love us. He has made the choice to love us. He has redeemed us based on the fact alone that we believe that Jesus died for all the crap that we've done. There is no way we can be good enough on our own to weasel our way into God's good books. Wow. It's humbling to think about that.
We've done nothing to deserve God's love. We have done nothing to deserve what God has done for us. He has offered us a free gift of life after death, in Heaven. And not only that, but until we are ready to go there, he offers a satisfying life here on earth.
What would the world be like if people could work for their salvation? How would humans act differently if we could be "good enough" to go to Heaven? Would people live lives pleasing to God, or would we still be in the same messes we are living in now?
I know for me personally, if my salvation required that I be "good" I would ultimately feel frustrated and defeated. I would be incredibly competitive. I would do "good" things and would be constantly comparing myself to others. "Am I better than that guy over there? Maybe I'll get to Heaven and he won't, if I'm just a little bit better than he is." I would try, day after day, to do good things, but I'm sure my heart wouldn't be in the right place. I would always be left wondering if I'm doing enough, and would never be sure of my future. I think I'd be overly anxious and paranoid.
Even in this life, with the way things really are, I try to be "good". I forget that God's already done all the work. And this does leave me dissatisfied, because I try to be perfect and it's impossible, but still I try.
I think if I kept in mind that God's death on the cross is the all-encompassing payment for my sin, I wouldn't have those times. *Sigh* God is so good for what he's done. What makes me so prideful to think that I can prove myself good enough on my own?
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Soundtrack of your life...
As stolen from Titus' and Lesley's blogs...
If your life had a soundtrack, what would it be?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…
Opening Credits: 7 Days - Craig David
Waking Up: Smoke - Natalie Imbruglia
Monday: (Nice to Meet You) Anyway - Craig David
Fight Song: Mobile - Avril Lavigne
Breaking Up: Introduction - Hot Hot Heat
Prom: Oh Yeah - Yello
Life: Slow Motion [Instrumental] - Third Eye Blind
Mental Breakdown: Let Me Fall - Josh Groban
Driving: Vicious Games - Yello
Getting Back Together: Anything - Mae
Wedding: Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) - Josh Groban
Wild Sex Scene: Good for You - Third Eye Blind
Birth of a child: At the End of the Day - Les Mis Soundtrack
Death Scene: Grow for Me - The Little Shop of Horrors Soundtrack
End Credits: Bullets - Creed
Interesting... :P
If your life had a soundtrack, what would it be?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…
Opening Credits: 7 Days - Craig David
Waking Up: Smoke - Natalie Imbruglia
Monday: (Nice to Meet You) Anyway - Craig David
Fight Song: Mobile - Avril Lavigne
Breaking Up: Introduction - Hot Hot Heat
Prom: Oh Yeah - Yello
Life: Slow Motion [Instrumental] - Third Eye Blind
Mental Breakdown: Let Me Fall - Josh Groban
Driving: Vicious Games - Yello
Getting Back Together: Anything - Mae
Wedding: Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) - Josh Groban
Wild Sex Scene: Good for You - Third Eye Blind
Birth of a child: At the End of the Day - Les Mis Soundtrack
Death Scene: Grow for Me - The Little Shop of Horrors Soundtrack
End Credits: Bullets - Creed
Interesting... :P
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Passionate teaching
Well, the first week of classes is over. McGill students started last Wednesday and now it's Wednesday again. I feel like I've been around the world and back, and it's only been a week.
I'm taking only 4 classes this semester, and they're all pretty good, nothing too exciting. My professors are all really young and vibrant... it's strange. Last semester there was one guy under 45! The older ones are a little more grumpy and seem like they don't enjoy their jobs anymore (if they ever did). I learn the best from people who are passionate about what they are teaching. The grumpy ones are hard to approach and make me feel like the material isn't worth my time.
Other than classes, I've been pressing myself to get this choreograpy for Inertia's March 9th and 10th shows done. I have to start teaching the piece to the dancers this weekend, and I want to be more prepared than I was last year. The dance will be way more organized and will carry it's meaning better if I do it in advance. Choreographing on the spot is tough work!
Yay for enthusiastic professors and finished choreography. Let's pray the semester continues this way.
I'm taking only 4 classes this semester, and they're all pretty good, nothing too exciting. My professors are all really young and vibrant... it's strange. Last semester there was one guy under 45! The older ones are a little more grumpy and seem like they don't enjoy their jobs anymore (if they ever did). I learn the best from people who are passionate about what they are teaching. The grumpy ones are hard to approach and make me feel like the material isn't worth my time.
Other than classes, I've been pressing myself to get this choreograpy for Inertia's March 9th and 10th shows done. I have to start teaching the piece to the dancers this weekend, and I want to be more prepared than I was last year. The dance will be way more organized and will carry it's meaning better if I do it in advance. Choreographing on the spot is tough work!
Yay for enthusiastic professors and finished choreography. Let's pray the semester continues this way.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Winter Conference and my wonderful surprise
From Dec 27th to January 1st I was downtown Toronto at Campus for Christ Canada's annual Winter Conference. It was an amazing time just hanging out with my friends from McGill, new friends from other universities in Ontario and Quebec, and those with whom I travelled to North Africa last summer. We attended sessions and seminars with amazing speakers from local churches, and the Campus for Christ ministry in Canada and the US. I learned a lot about God, ministry, evangelism and especially about myself while at this conference.
The main speaker, Roger Hershey, did an incredible job of speaking about the book of Revelations. He spoke four times during the five days we were there. One thing I took away was an increased passion for sharing my faith in Jesus Christ with others. If you read Revelations, you discover that we have so much to look forward to, if we are a committed follower of Jesus. There's also a lot of destruction, deception, pain and death ahead. By sharing what we know about God, and the reality that belief in Jesus changes your eternal destiny, we can help people avoid a lot of suffering if they choose to accept God's free gift of salvation. I realized what a beautiful picture is painted of heaven, of the new Jerusalem, and I people to have the chance to come there, too.
When I returned from Winter Conference, I spent a day and a half with my mom. It was good. Every time we hang out we enjoy each other more. Maybe a reality of my adulthood?
On the 1st, several hours after I had returned home to my mom's, there was an unexpected knock on the door. I opened it, not really looking out the window to check if it was someone we knew. It was a woman, about 40 years old who looked slightly familiar. I stared for a moment before I realized that it was my Portuguese babysitter, Laura. I gasped quietly, and reached out to hug her. I couldn't believe it. This amazing woman took care of me from age 7 to 13 when my mom was at work. She has two sons, Billy and Anthony, who were like brothers to me.
I hadn't really spoken to her or her sons for 7 years. She remains in my mind a beautiful person who gave of herself to others, not really expecting anything in return. She was influential in my life growing up, and it saddens me that I hadn't seen her for so many years.
She stopped by to say hi... and well, wow. I love the way things like that happen... it's crazy! We spent about 45 minutes chatting about life, catching up. If she had've stopped by a day before of after, I wouldn't have been there. I was in Toronto a day before, and was on my way to Montreal the day after. Laura and my mom promised to spend time together soon, and I will definitely be calling her when I'm home on reading week.
Now I'm back in Montreal, finished my first day of classes of the second semester of my second year. I am determined to tackle this semester with discipline. LOTS OF STUDYING! and lots of fun!!! Here's to a great four months!
The main speaker, Roger Hershey, did an incredible job of speaking about the book of Revelations. He spoke four times during the five days we were there. One thing I took away was an increased passion for sharing my faith in Jesus Christ with others. If you read Revelations, you discover that we have so much to look forward to, if we are a committed follower of Jesus. There's also a lot of destruction, deception, pain and death ahead. By sharing what we know about God, and the reality that belief in Jesus changes your eternal destiny, we can help people avoid a lot of suffering if they choose to accept God's free gift of salvation. I realized what a beautiful picture is painted of heaven, of the new Jerusalem, and I people to have the chance to come there, too.
When I returned from Winter Conference, I spent a day and a half with my mom. It was good. Every time we hang out we enjoy each other more. Maybe a reality of my adulthood?
On the 1st, several hours after I had returned home to my mom's, there was an unexpected knock on the door. I opened it, not really looking out the window to check if it was someone we knew. It was a woman, about 40 years old who looked slightly familiar. I stared for a moment before I realized that it was my Portuguese babysitter, Laura. I gasped quietly, and reached out to hug her. I couldn't believe it. This amazing woman took care of me from age 7 to 13 when my mom was at work. She has two sons, Billy and Anthony, who were like brothers to me.
I hadn't really spoken to her or her sons for 7 years. She remains in my mind a beautiful person who gave of herself to others, not really expecting anything in return. She was influential in my life growing up, and it saddens me that I hadn't seen her for so many years.
She stopped by to say hi... and well, wow. I love the way things like that happen... it's crazy! We spent about 45 minutes chatting about life, catching up. If she had've stopped by a day before of after, I wouldn't have been there. I was in Toronto a day before, and was on my way to Montreal the day after. Laura and my mom promised to spend time together soon, and I will definitely be calling her when I'm home on reading week.
Now I'm back in Montreal, finished my first day of classes of the second semester of my second year. I am determined to tackle this semester with discipline. LOTS OF STUDYING! and lots of fun!!! Here's to a great four months!
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