The past two weeks have been amazing as well as heartbreaking. I've seen God working in my heart, transforming me. I've seen circumstances change; some things seem to be getting better, some worse. I've been challenged to wait. I've also observed parts of my life, the different communities that I participate in, and how they enrich my life.
My favourite community is the one I experience at Campus for Christ. Two Saturdays ago, a bunch of students and staff went up north to Quebec cottage country (near Tremblant) for a day of planning. It inevitably included some very funny bonding moments like walking on the frozen lake, having a really intense snowball fight, eating great food and just hanging out. We spent time in prayer and thought about what God had done this year at McGill. We included some newer, younger students in the planning this year. It was really encouraging to me how God has brought these new women (and men!) into the group. I've been inspired by their willingness and passion.
This past weekend I travelled to the States with one of my closest friends, Amelia. Her family blessed me in so many ways. They were loud and funny and caring all at the same time. Her brothers treated me like one of the family. I realized that I missed out in growing up without siblings. I look forward to having a big family some day. We visited some great places with her family: Philadelphia - the art museum, the liberty bell, the constitution center; New York City - the World Trade center site, the oldest church in the city, Broadway Ave, Statue of Liberty (from afar). What an amazing time. That was my first time being south of the border and being old enough to remember. I've now been to three states: New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.
I am really looking forward to going to Calgary this summer on a missions trip. Being in North Africa two summers ago I realized that Canada needs God's love just as much as any other place in the world. I want to be used by God here. I've thought a lot about my summer plans, and decided that this is the best use of my time. Not only will I be working and making money for school, but I'll be working with other Christians from across Canada. We'll be doing evangelism and holding events in order to reach communities in Calgary with the good news that Christ offers us eternal life, love, joy and peace, more than this world could ever give.
So I guess I've had some pretty awesome times lately, but life has been tough. There's a lot of stuff in my own heart that I need to work through. I realize that my desire to please people doesn't do anybody any good. I really need to look to God for guidance. I've noticed that some old sin has been coming back. I really need to stop lying to people. I've wrecked some relationships, believe it or not.
I've been worried about subletting my apartment for the summer. I wonder what I'll do with Teddy (my puppy dog) for the four months that I'm Calgary. I don't know how to make things better with my mom. I don't have much money left, and some times I worry about giving up my favourite things like the occasional Soy Chai latte, and about how I'll pay for my flight to Calgary.
God, I want to trust you.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Saturday, December 22, 2007
A reflection on the past year
Where did you begin 2007?
At a little celebration called Winter Conference - downtown Toronto, a 5 day party in the Sheraton Hotel!!
What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Single.
Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Yes. January to April and again Sept to Dec. I went to almost all my classes this year!
Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yes! I had a biospy to see if I have celiac disease. Turns out I don't, but I've still got a gluten intolerance.
Did you have any encounters with the police?
Nope, and this year I had my full license and drove all summer. No tickets!
Where did you go on vacation?
Home to Oshawa! Then took a roadtrip to Newmarket for a party at Brad's with all my NA project people. I didn't really go on vacation.
What did you purchase that was over $500?
Nothing, except my tuition!
Did you know anybody who got married?
Hmmm... no, but several people got engaged: Titus and Naomi, Dave and Jeanie, Lisa and Chris... oh wait, they got engaged and married this year!
Did you know anybody who passed away?
Only grandparents and relatives of friends, but no one I knew well.
Did you move anywhere?
Yes! I moved from Notre Dame to the Plateau, one of the most beautiful, trendiest areas of Montreal!
What sporting events did you attend?
None.
What concerts/shows did you go to?
Hmmm... John Mayer back in April (soooo amazing!) and Justice earlier this semester.
Describe your birthday:
I was at home in Oshawa, and decided to go to Casey's for a (free!) birthday dinner with a bunch of friends. I was feeling out of it, kinda down, as the summer hadn't started so well. However, I was really excited and surprised that a bunch of my Cobourg friends showed up. It was a blessing to see them, as I didn't spend much time with them other than that.
What's the one thing you thought you would not do but did in 2007?
Get a dog of my own, out in Montreal. His name's Teddy and he's a white mini schnauzer mixed with wire hair fox terrier we think.
What has been your favorite moment(s)?
I have three favourite moments of the year.
The first weekend in January, Tara, Jozef, Ronald, Kiri, Heather and I travelled out to Sherbrooke in a rental car for a weekend away (and to visit some other C4C people). I really enjoyed the relaxing time we had, and just loved the randomness of it all. We hung out in the Pinkerton's house, ate yummy food, sang happy birthday, sang other songs, jumped on a trampoline for a couple hours, hiked up a mountain (there was hardly any snow at that point last winter!). We took random pictures on the ski lift chairs... so much fun.
Another favourite moment of mine was this summer. I met some pretty great people, including my neighbour, Jamie, who I've known for many years. We hung out in his basement and watched movies and some amazing television episodes of Firefly, Seinfeld, and The Office. I haven't laughed so hard in a looooong time.
My most recent favourite moment was about two weeks ago. Amelia, Marlise and I (two weeks in a row) spent Sunday evening watching a movie, talking and hanging out. It also included some cuddling! I never thought I'd have two friends who were so beautiful, caring, generous and fun.
Any new additions to your family?
Only Teddy, the new dog!
What was your best month?
I dunno, maybe August because it was the least stressful, and I was so excited to go back to Montreal and back to school. I also learned a lot, like about how friends are so important for those tough times. A couple of friends cheered me up on a bad day and it was such a blessing.
What music will you remember 2007 by?
Umbrella, Sweet Escape, Apologize, LoveStoned, anything by Skillet, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, the whole "Cities" album by Anberlin, random Krista techno, D.A.N.C.E. (Justice!), Tenderoni, Ryan Adams
Made new friends?
Yes! So many! Jamie, Josh, Tanjima, Violet, Eric, André, so many ECSE friends! And became closer with a couple acquaintances as well: Kati, Krista, Manar, Andrew, Mandy, Ali... the list goes on...
Favorite night out?
Hmmm... the night of the C4C Christmas party. Oh dancing at Cafe Campus: so much fun!
Overall, how would you rate this year?
Pretty good. I experienced a lot of failure and rejection, but feel I'm working toward being more focused and trusting in God.
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Montreal, which is like home for me now. Other than that, I spent A LOT of time in Trottier and at the library!
Change your hairstyle?
Not really.
How old did you turn this year?
21.
Do you have a New Year's resolution?
I haven't thought about it yet. Although something in me just longs for consistency. I think I'm going to try to have consistency in every part of my life.
I'd like to spend time with people consistently, investing time in their lives. I dislike seeing friends so infrequently. Friendships don't deepen with time spent together once a year, or once a semester. So, I'm going to try to hang around people intentionally, regularly.
Do anything embarrassing?
Yes! Just two days ago, I called a neighbour of mine who was giving me a ride home from the train station. I thought I was speaking to their son, and so after saying "Hey! How are you?", I asked, "Can I speak to your dad?"
The person on the other line said "He's not my dad!"...
Turns out, I was speaking to his wife, and the boys' mother. :$
Buy anything new from eBay?
Two ipods!
Get married or divorced?
No.
Get arrested?
Of course not!
Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
I watched Canadian Idol all summer.
Did you get sick this year?
Once, got a cold this semester from too much stress!
Been snowboarding?
I haven't tried it, but I do love skiing!
Are you happy to see 2007 go?
Yeah. I also look forward to a fresh start, a new year, new courses, new experiences, new friends and opportunities to stretch and challenge myself.
At a little celebration called Winter Conference - downtown Toronto, a 5 day party in the Sheraton Hotel!!
What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Single.
Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Yes. January to April and again Sept to Dec. I went to almost all my classes this year!
Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yes! I had a biospy to see if I have celiac disease. Turns out I don't, but I've still got a gluten intolerance.
Did you have any encounters with the police?
Nope, and this year I had my full license and drove all summer. No tickets!
Where did you go on vacation?
Home to Oshawa! Then took a roadtrip to Newmarket for a party at Brad's with all my NA project people. I didn't really go on vacation.
What did you purchase that was over $500?
Nothing, except my tuition!
Did you know anybody who got married?
Hmmm... no, but several people got engaged: Titus and Naomi, Dave and Jeanie, Lisa and Chris... oh wait, they got engaged and married this year!
Did you know anybody who passed away?
Only grandparents and relatives of friends, but no one I knew well.
Did you move anywhere?
Yes! I moved from Notre Dame to the Plateau, one of the most beautiful, trendiest areas of Montreal!
What sporting events did you attend?
None.
What concerts/shows did you go to?
Hmmm... John Mayer back in April (soooo amazing!) and Justice earlier this semester.
Describe your birthday:
I was at home in Oshawa, and decided to go to Casey's for a (free!) birthday dinner with a bunch of friends. I was feeling out of it, kinda down, as the summer hadn't started so well. However, I was really excited and surprised that a bunch of my Cobourg friends showed up. It was a blessing to see them, as I didn't spend much time with them other than that.
What's the one thing you thought you would not do but did in 2007?
Get a dog of my own, out in Montreal. His name's Teddy and he's a white mini schnauzer mixed with wire hair fox terrier we think.
What has been your favorite moment(s)?
I have three favourite moments of the year.
The first weekend in January, Tara, Jozef, Ronald, Kiri, Heather and I travelled out to Sherbrooke in a rental car for a weekend away (and to visit some other C4C people). I really enjoyed the relaxing time we had, and just loved the randomness of it all. We hung out in the Pinkerton's house, ate yummy food, sang happy birthday, sang other songs, jumped on a trampoline for a couple hours, hiked up a mountain (there was hardly any snow at that point last winter!). We took random pictures on the ski lift chairs... so much fun.
Another favourite moment of mine was this summer. I met some pretty great people, including my neighbour, Jamie, who I've known for many years. We hung out in his basement and watched movies and some amazing television episodes of Firefly, Seinfeld, and The Office. I haven't laughed so hard in a looooong time.
My most recent favourite moment was about two weeks ago. Amelia, Marlise and I (two weeks in a row) spent Sunday evening watching a movie, talking and hanging out. It also included some cuddling! I never thought I'd have two friends who were so beautiful, caring, generous and fun.
Any new additions to your family?
Only Teddy, the new dog!
What was your best month?
I dunno, maybe August because it was the least stressful, and I was so excited to go back to Montreal and back to school. I also learned a lot, like about how friends are so important for those tough times. A couple of friends cheered me up on a bad day and it was such a blessing.
What music will you remember 2007 by?
Umbrella, Sweet Escape, Apologize, LoveStoned, anything by Skillet, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, the whole "Cities" album by Anberlin, random Krista techno, D.A.N.C.E. (Justice!), Tenderoni, Ryan Adams
Made new friends?
Yes! So many! Jamie, Josh, Tanjima, Violet, Eric, André, so many ECSE friends! And became closer with a couple acquaintances as well: Kati, Krista, Manar, Andrew, Mandy, Ali... the list goes on...
Favorite night out?
Hmmm... the night of the C4C Christmas party. Oh dancing at Cafe Campus: so much fun!
Overall, how would you rate this year?
Pretty good. I experienced a lot of failure and rejection, but feel I'm working toward being more focused and trusting in God.
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Montreal, which is like home for me now. Other than that, I spent A LOT of time in Trottier and at the library!
Change your hairstyle?
Not really.
How old did you turn this year?
21.
Do you have a New Year's resolution?
I haven't thought about it yet. Although something in me just longs for consistency. I think I'm going to try to have consistency in every part of my life.
I'd like to spend time with people consistently, investing time in their lives. I dislike seeing friends so infrequently. Friendships don't deepen with time spent together once a year, or once a semester. So, I'm going to try to hang around people intentionally, regularly.
Do anything embarrassing?
Yes! Just two days ago, I called a neighbour of mine who was giving me a ride home from the train station. I thought I was speaking to their son, and so after saying "Hey! How are you?", I asked, "Can I speak to your dad?"
The person on the other line said "He's not my dad!"...
Turns out, I was speaking to his wife, and the boys' mother. :$
Buy anything new from eBay?
Two ipods!
Get married or divorced?
No.
Get arrested?
Of course not!
Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
I watched Canadian Idol all summer.
Did you get sick this year?
Once, got a cold this semester from too much stress!
Been snowboarding?
I haven't tried it, but I do love skiing!
Are you happy to see 2007 go?
Yeah. I also look forward to a fresh start, a new year, new courses, new experiences, new friends and opportunities to stretch and challenge myself.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Back to life.
I'm going back to school! I'm leaving for the big city this weekend and I'm so excited.
This summer has been full of loneliness, disappointment and regret, but more importantly, excitement, new experiences, new friends and fun times.
Every summer it's always the same thing: I didn't spend enough time with this friend and with that person, I watched too much tv, I didn't earn enough money, I didn't look over my notes, mentally preparing for next term, and I sunk into spiritual mediocrity.
But, what can I do? It's summer, right? All I know is that I read what I wanted to, I made two amazing new friends, I laughed more than I have in a long time, I watched just enough of Firefly, I lived as an adult in my childhood home, and I didn't die driving, practising on the 401, and getting my G license.
Just enough summer for me. I'll be glad to get back into my routine.
This summer has been full of loneliness, disappointment and regret, but more importantly, excitement, new experiences, new friends and fun times.
Every summer it's always the same thing: I didn't spend enough time with this friend and with that person, I watched too much tv, I didn't earn enough money, I didn't look over my notes, mentally preparing for next term, and I sunk into spiritual mediocrity.
But, what can I do? It's summer, right? All I know is that I read what I wanted to, I made two amazing new friends, I laughed more than I have in a long time, I watched just enough of Firefly, I lived as an adult in my childhood home, and I didn't die driving, practising on the 401, and getting my G license.
Just enough summer for me. I'll be glad to get back into my routine.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
"I'm letting you go."
Last weekend I got fired. Yeah, fired.
I've never been fired from a job before.
But then again, I've always been paid properly. I've never felt cheated on paychecks. I've never approached someone with questions and requests only to be denied my rights.
Ministry of Labour, here I come. Anyone ever filed a claim before?
I've never been fired from a job before.
But then again, I've always been paid properly. I've never felt cheated on paychecks. I've never approached someone with questions and requests only to be denied my rights.
Ministry of Labour, here I come. Anyone ever filed a claim before?
Friday, August 3, 2007
Unconditional love
That I Would Be Good
- Alanis Morissette (Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie)
That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
- Alanis Morissette (Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie)
That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
Thursday, July 26, 2007
New puppy, new toy, new responsibility
My mom got a new dog. We'd had one little Lhasa Apso, Keisha. We still have her, and she's 11 now. She's pretty old for a dog, but you'd never know it. She still scampers up the stairs, jumps on and off beds, plays fetch and runs in the park.
But, one just wasn't enough. :P
(Keisha - the dog we've had for just over 9 years)
My mom and I went to the Humane Society and the Animal Control a couple times, and only saw one or two dogs that we liked. They don't have many small dogs at the shelters. Most of them get snatched up pretty quickly. I think small dogs are much more adoptable than large dogs. Did you know the humane society in Toronto has over 150 dogs, and the majority of them are pitbulls?
This one little boy that we brought home is about a year old, and also a Lhasa Apso, but very obviously crossed with some other breed. I think he's part Beagle. He digs holes in the garden, chews bones, barks like a hound and has a long body and a long, straight tail (most Lhasas have curly tails). We named him Benson. He's very cute, playful and cuddly, but has lots of accidents on our carpet.
My title of three "news" does not refer just to Benson. He is like a new toy, and he definitely brings more responsibility to this household (sort of like a new baby? You love it, and cuddle it, and kiss it, but then it pees on your floor? I dunno.)
My new toy is actually more appropriately referring to my new Ipod!! I had been debating over it for about a year, and had been on the apple website plenty of times, picking out colour and style and deciding whether or not I wanted the free engraving. I thought I "needed" a nano, and at least 4Gb. I have a lot of music on my computer that I would like to have accessible to me at any time. I liked the pink or the green, but then they came out with the special edition red. Hmmm... well anyways, I saw a red 8gb on Ebay and randomly bid on it, not expecting anything. I won, :D and received it shortly after. My new toy is serving me well.
My newest responsibility is my new (second) job. I like the job that I have waitressing at the Diamond.... but...
I hate not being busy.
I want to make money this summer.
I was working 25 hours a week.
I don't have anything else good to do with my time.
So, I looked in the Oshawa newspaper classfieds, and applied to a few things. I got a couple replies, and took a job serving breakfast in a factory cafeteria three days a week. I wake up at 5 am and work a couple hours, then go home and if I don't have to work it feels great to have accomplished something before most people even get out of bed. If I have to work at the Diamond the same day, I drop off some stuff at home before heading out to work at 11 or 12. Good thing the uniform is the same!
*Phew* It's a little tiring, but it'll only be for another 4 weeks. Then I'll be back in Montreal. :)
But, one just wasn't enough. :P
(Keisha - the dog we've had for just over 9 years)My mom and I went to the Humane Society and the Animal Control a couple times, and only saw one or two dogs that we liked. They don't have many small dogs at the shelters. Most of them get snatched up pretty quickly. I think small dogs are much more adoptable than large dogs. Did you know the humane society in Toronto has over 150 dogs, and the majority of them are pitbulls?
This one little boy that we brought home is about a year old, and also a Lhasa Apso, but very obviously crossed with some other breed. I think he's part Beagle. He digs holes in the garden, chews bones, barks like a hound and has a long body and a long, straight tail (most Lhasas have curly tails). We named him Benson. He's very cute, playful and cuddly, but has lots of accidents on our carpet.
My title of three "news" does not refer just to Benson. He is like a new toy, and he definitely brings more responsibility to this household (sort of like a new baby? You love it, and cuddle it, and kiss it, but then it pees on your floor? I dunno.)
My new toy is actually more appropriately referring to my new Ipod!! I had been debating over it for about a year, and had been on the apple website plenty of times, picking out colour and style and deciding whether or not I wanted the free engraving. I thought I "needed" a nano, and at least 4Gb. I have a lot of music on my computer that I would like to have accessible to me at any time. I liked the pink or the green, but then they came out with the special edition red. Hmmm... well anyways, I saw a red 8gb on Ebay and randomly bid on it, not expecting anything. I won, :D and received it shortly after. My new toy is serving me well.
My newest responsibility is my new (second) job. I like the job that I have waitressing at the Diamond.... but...
I hate not being busy.
I want to make money this summer.
I was working 25 hours a week.
I don't have anything else good to do with my time.
So, I looked in the Oshawa newspaper classfieds, and applied to a few things. I got a couple replies, and took a job serving breakfast in a factory cafeteria three days a week. I wake up at 5 am and work a couple hours, then go home and if I don't have to work it feels great to have accomplished something before most people even get out of bed. If I have to work at the Diamond the same day, I drop off some stuff at home before heading out to work at 11 or 12. Good thing the uniform is the same!
*Phew* It's a little tiring, but it'll only be for another 4 weeks. Then I'll be back in Montreal. :)
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